


DuChamp makes the heart grow fonder

by TheLittlestBoho



Series: Across the Miles [2]
Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Established Relationship, It's the inbetween time cause recovery is necessary, Long Distance Relationship, there is no actual gishwhes activity in this part
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-08
Updated: 2013-01-08
Packaged: 2017-11-24 03:26:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,407
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/629846
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheLittlestBoho/pseuds/TheLittlestBoho
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's Laura's fault Derek did that stupid Scavenger Hunt, and it's her fault that Stiles joined their team. So the blame for their current heartbreak lays solely on her and Misha freaking Collins. Assholes.</p><p>Or</p><p>The one where distance actually just really sucks, and they're all secretly romantics. Even Erica.</p>
            </blockquote>





	DuChamp makes the heart grow fonder

So, here’s the thing about long distance relationships. They involve distance, that is typically long, and they suck ass. Stiles could probably write an entire twelve page essay on all the ways in which long distance relationships suck ass and are, undoubtedly, the worst thing to ever happen. He could then very easily write a follow-up essay about all the reasons why transport technology needed to be invented right around the time he got an ask inviting him to join the best GISHWHES team to ever GISHWHES.

Unfortunately Stiles is in university now, and while Finstock gave him some lee-way in regards to essay topics, most of his professors won’t. And by most, he means all. Which is a real shame because he’s got a great bullet point list as the start of the outline.

**Reasons why Long-Distance Relationships suck ass**

  1. Cuddles are not an option
  2. Losing your hypothetical virginity is not an option
  3. Kisses are not an option
  4. Falling asleep talking on the phone and eating up your minutes results in several hundred dollar phone bills which you can’t afford but oh well
  5. Stubble
  6. No hand holding
  7. No sneakily ‘borrowing’ his shirt and not giving it back for weeks
  8. No returning his shirt only to sneakily ‘borrow’ another one
  9. Smelling his deodorant of choice doesn’t make you feel warm and fuzzy, it just makes your heart hurt because it’s never actually him that you’re smelling
  10. As impressive as computers are, the quality is never good enough to see the way he gets this little half-smile when he thinks you’ve said something adorable and wants to kiss you in that really soft brief way that’s almost like he didn’t kiss you at all and always leaves you with butterflies
  11. He’s not there to give you the almost-not-there-at-all kisses that leave you with butterflies
  12. His eyes are so much prettier than Skype makes them seem
  13. He can’t do that thing where he cups the side of your neck and kind of caresses you with his thumb
  14. Or the thing where he softly traces your cheekbones or your nose after you’ve been making out for a while in that really slow, tender way
  15. He can’t touch you at all
  16. And you can’t touch him
  17. And you really, really fucking miss him a lot
  18. And kind of feel like crying



It’s not even a complete list, but whenever Stiles reads over it to add more reasons why it sucks he just ends up curling up in a ball on his bed and hiding under the covers. He really hates the fact that Derek lives all the way across the freaking country, and the fact that they’re not rich, and the fact that he can’t just hop on a plane and go see him. There was a week long period where Stiles seriously considered applying to NYU or Columbia or Rockefeller or any other university in New York City. It wouldn’t have been hard to transfer his credits, and move into one of the dorms. He was five minutes from starting the application process when Scott came in and called him an idiot.

“You can’t just move across the country for a guy you’ve been dating for two months. It’s ridiculous, and clingy, and will probably freak him out.”

It’d taken a half hour of bickering, but for once Scott was totally logical and Stiles had given in. He still looked at the websites once in a while, but it was true. He couldn’t just drop everything for Derek, no matter how much he wanted to. So he stuck to looking at websites, and dreaming up visits, and pinching pennies as much as possible to save money for tickets.

The hardest part was probably remembering the four days they’d actually had together. Four full days over the week and a half where Stiles went up to Redding, or Derek came down to Beacon Hills. Stiles had dragged Derek all over, showing him all the places he’d gotten into trouble as a kid, and Derek had done the same.

Derek who was all strong muscles, and firm lines; Derek whom Stiles had dozed off against in the middle of a movie and woken up curled up against three hours later. Derek with his soft kisses, and warm hands, and quiet little chuckles.

Stiles was miserable.

***

 **Stiles Stilinski:** I miss you.  
And I know you’re not online.  
Because you’re across the country and time’s a bitch and so it’s like 4am where you are.  
But I’m online and I miss you.  
A lot.  
 **Derek Hale:** I miss you too  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** Derek!  
What are you doing on!?  
 **Derek Hale:** Laura put facebook alerts on my phone.  
Woke me up.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** Shit! Sorry!  
I thought you were still living in the stone age.  
Go back to bed, babe.  
 **Derek Hale:** It’s fine, I’m up now.  
How’re you?  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** I’m okay, other than missing you.  
There was a sale on broody black t-shirts at Target today and it reminded me of you.  
 **Derek Hale:** Hahaha, you’re hilarious.  
At least my shirts aren’t rude, or painful to look at.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** Pft, you love my fashion sense. You’re just jealous.  
 **Derek Hale:** What’s there to be jealous of? Tacky shirts?  
I’d much rather see you in the stuff I wear.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** Dude, you can’t say things like that.  
Allison is always stealing Scott’s shirts and I’m ten kinds of jealous of her and it’s getting stupid.  
I wish I could wear the stuff you wear, but it’s not the same.  
 **Derek Hale:** I know.  
I’m sorry.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** No. It’s not your fault. It’s fine.  
You should go back to sleep, you’ve got work in the morning.  
We can skype tomorrow.  
Night, babe.  
 **Derek Hale:** Goodnight, Stiles.  
xoxo  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** xoxo  <3  
 **Stiles Stilinski has logged off.**

***

Some days Derek really fucking hated Misha Collins. He’d never met the guy, but he still hated him. It was his fault Laura had gotten involved in the stupid scavenger hunt, and his fault Derek had met Stiles, and his fault Derek was currently laying face first on his bed glaring at the place his laptop was supposed to sit.

Which was a lie of course, because as much as the distance was an issue Derek was a bit head over heels for Stiles. He couldn’t hate the man who was accidentally responsible for Derek meeting his boyfriend, as cliché as it was. He just wished he’d met Stiles before he moved to New York (although Stiles would’ve been fourteen at the time and thus not boyfriend material). Or that they’d met a year earlier, when Stiles was applying to universities and Derek could’ve made points for why NYU was a great school. Or pretty much anything that didn’t involve him moping all the time, because that was what he was doing. Moping.

His epic mopefest (and yes he’d started using ridiculous words because of Stiles, and yes it was a bit pathetic, and no he didn’t care) was interrupted by Laura leaning in his doorway and groaning. He didn’t have to see her to know she was rolling her eyes, arms crossed over her chest and back pressed against the door jam. Laura was predictable, and Derek was miserable, and if he had to suffer than she had to suffer too.

“You’re pathetic.”

“My laptop’s still being fixed.”  
  
“Still pathetic.”

“I haven’t talked to Stiles all week.”

“Is that supposed to make you seem less pathetic? Because it didn’t,” she said, before walking away. Derek could hear her moving through the apartment, heels click-clacking and letting him know she was going out for the night because Laura hated wearing shoes indoors. Thought it was pretentious. Apparently putting her heels on an hour before she had to leave just so she could enjoy the sound they made on the flooring wasn’t at all pretentious, though. Derek thought that was hypocritical bullshit. But Derek also hated everything that wasn’t his boyfriend at that moment.

“You’re embarrassing. I used to be able to brag about the fact that my little brother was actually pretty cool, but now I just have to pretend I’m an only child. That’s what you’ve brought me to.”

“I really hate you sometimes,” he said, left cheek still smushed into his pillow, eyes still fixed on his laptop-less desk.

“No, you really don’t,” she said before her legs came into view. “I also kind of miss sourfaced, single Derek. He annoyed me less. Say hi to your boyfriend for me.” And then her laptop was settling onto the desk and her legs walking away, shouts about how late she’d be trailing after her. He honestly couldn’t be bothered to care, calling out a brief I love you before launching himself across the room to his desk.

It took a few tries to remember her password but he got it in, frowning as he waited for the old thing to load. And then there was logging out of her Skype, and trying to remember his login info, and suddenly understanding why Stiles had kept calling automatic login a curse. Eventually he got all his info in and he’d barely turned the speakers on before the annoying automated ringing sound filled the room, a small black window popping up. Grinning at the ridiculous icon that came up Derek clicked on the video call button.

“Your laptop is fixed!”

“Not yet,” he said, smiling as Stiles’ face filled the screen. “I’m borrowing Laura’s computer.”

It earned him an exaggerated pout, Stiles bottom lip sticking out. Derek could see his room behind him, the posters that always seemed to shift around and the stack of papers and books on his bedside table. Judging by the mess, Derek could almost guarantee that he’d get a lecture before the end of the conversation about the woes of Intro to Anthro. Stiles hated his prof, and had given in to more than one rant about why he was evil. Most of the time he thought it was ridiculous how happy listening to Stiles bitch made him, but as it was he couldn’t wait to see the way his boyfriends hands would flail and the way his cheeks would redden. It was adorable.

“I hope it gets fixed soon. Not talking to you every night sucks, like, a lot,” Stiles said, fidgeting with his camera a bit.

“I agree. How are you?”

“I’m good. Really liking the view right now.” There was a smirk on his boyfriends face and it took Derek a minute to puzzle out why. Rolling his eyes he adjusted his own webcam, turning it up and quirking an eyebrow once he was sure his face was completely in the picture. It earned him a squawk and another pout. “Oh come on, I was enjoying the unencumbered view of your chest. The muscle shirt is sexy.”

“It’s disgustingly hot here. Humidex hasn’t gone down in days.”

“We’ve actually had a cool wave here lately. Still hot, but not as bad as normal. Scott’s been moping about it.”

“Interrupting his plans with Allison?”

It makes Stiles burst out laughing, nodding his head before leaning forward to rest his chin on his hand. “How did you guess? I’m telling him his MO is known clear across the country. He wanted to take her to the beach but apparently it’s pointless unless sunbathing can happen.”

Derek can’t help rolling his eyes, settling more comfortable into his desk chair. “What else has been going on with you? Other than dealing with Scott.”

Apparently it’s the right question because Stiles immediately launches into a detailed explanation of what it was like having his friends back for the summer, and how his courses have been going. His hands move, and he bounces in his seat, and Derek wishes he was there to gather Stiles up in his arms and hold him still. See if he’d still try to keep moving with his boyfriends arms wrapped around him. Derek figures he would, probably wouldn’t be able to help himself. He wonders if Stiles would keep talking even as he fell asleep curled up against his side.

“I love you,” he says two hours later when they’ve moved to their respective beds, each laying on their sides to face their computers. It surprises him even as he says it, and Stiles’ eyes widen on his end.

“You…what?”

It’s the first time Stiles has really sounded stupefied and it freaks Derek out. Then again, he can’t blame him for it. They’ve only been dating for four months, and they haven’t seen each other face to face since that first week. It’s too soon to be saying the L word and Derek kind of wants to panic. It just came out, and he wants to blame it on the fact that it’s nearly one in the morning, and he doesn’t usually stay up so late, but fact is it’s kind of true. Kind of as true as it can possibly be this soon, considering Derek doesn’t usually say things like that. To anyone.

He’s clearing his throat, ready to make an excuse when Stiles smiles, all soft and shy and not at all his usual grin. “I love you, too. I just didn’t want to say anything cause I thought it was maybe too soon, even though I wasn’t sure. I mean…I haven’t dated that much, and definitely not long-distance, so I wasn’t sure the protocol. I kind of figured I’d just wait for you to say it first,” he says, trailing off at the end in faint embarrassment.

Derek smiles, wishing he could reach through the computer and touch his boyfriends’ cheek. “You’re adorable.”

“Shut up,” Stiles says, blushing brightly. “I’m not adorable. I’m manly and tough and y’know… other masculine adjectives.”

“Whatever you say,” he says, laughing softly.

Stiles just makes one of his cute aborted arm waves and Derek laughs and starts talking about the new guy Laura’s started seeing. They’ll probably talk for another hour or two, until Derek’s eyes are aching and Stiles is going quiet to let his dad sleep or getting up when his dad comes home from work. This time they’ll probably say I love you when they say goodnight and it makes Derek’s stomach clench. He’s still a bit freaked out, and it’s still too soon, but he doesn’t care. He really, really doesn’t.

***

 **Derek Hale:** You there?  
 **Stiles Stilinski _(Away)_ :** Yup, baking tho so replies will be slow  
How’re you?  
 **Derek Hale:** Good. I didn’t know you baked.  
 **Stiles Stilinski _(Away)_ :** Yup, I’m totally pro.  
I’ll make you brownies next visit.  
 **Derek Hale:** I’m looking forward to it. What are you making tonight?  
 **Stiles Stilinski _(Away)_ :** Chocolate and Vanilla layer cake  
One of dad’s deputies had a baby last week so they’re having a shower for her  
cakes are baked now I’m assembling them  
avengers style  
and then decorating  
 **Derek Hale:** Sounds tasty  
I’m guessing you’re having cake issues based on your lack of reply  
Well, Laura just got home and is pestering me to take her out for supper so I have to go  
I just wanted to let you know I got a new phone yesterday that apparently has Skype on it – Laura’s gonna show me how it works tonight  
And I updated my plan so we can actually call each other, if that works with your plan  
Tell the deputy congrats  
Love you xo  
 **Derek Hale has logged off**  
 **Stiles Stilinski _(Away)_ :** NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoo I JUST MISSED YOU  
The cakes were uneven and I had to save them and shit  
Ugh  
UGH I JUST READ WHAT YOU WROTE PROPERLY AND OMG ARE YOU KIDDING ME SERIOUSLY  
I’ll change my plan tomorrow  
I love you <3 xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

***

“Holy fuck.”

Derek lets out a breathless grunt of agreement that makes Stiles laugh. Or at least make a sound approximating a laugh. He’s still trying to catch his breath, one hand resting on his chest while the other adjusts his grip on his phone. His stomach is covered in jizz and he’s pretty sure he’s red from head to toe. Some part of his brain is trying to formulate a mental image of Derek, trying to imagine what he looks like. Stiles kind of thinks Derek would be the kind of guy whose neck gets a bit red, that he’d be warm and pliant in bed right now. It would’ve been nice to watch him come but there was no way he was going to be able to hold out until he got his computer booted up. It’s a miracle he managed to get up to his room, with how turned on he’d been by the time he got home.

It was unfair, how good Derek was at dirty talk. His voice got all gruff and rumbly, telling Stiles all the things he was going to do to him the next time they got to visit. It’d been a relatively innocent phone call at the start, and then suddenly Derek was talking about sucking him off and fucking him against a wall and driving in a straight line was getting harder and harder. He’d been shaking when he pulled into his driveway, silently thanking whatever gods existed that his dad wasn’t home.

He’d come embarrassingly quickly, but then again what else could be expected when the last five minutes of the drive were spent listening to Derek working himself on the other side of the phone. Especially when he mentioned what his fingers were doing.

“Fuck.”

“You already said that,” Derek said with a chuckle, and Stiles could easily picture him laying on his back in bed. “I’m kicking Laura out when you visit.”

When. Not if, when. It made Stiles’ heart speed up, knowing that while dates hadn’t been set, him visiting Derek was a definitive. They were in for the long-haul. “Good. Excellent idea. I’m going to add an extra week to whatever plans we make, just so we can stay in bed.”

“I was thinking of in the shower, actually.”

“Fuck. Asshole.”

“Exactly.”

Stiles doesn’t even try to hide his laugh, because Derek is amazing and ridiculous and he’s hardly caught his breath but he’s already feeling turned on again. “I can’t decide if I love playful Derek, or hate him. You’re being cruel and unusual.”

“It’s a thin line between the two,” Derek concedes, his voice playful across the phone. It makes Stiles smile, reaching for the Kleenex on his bedside table to clean himself up. “When do you have to leave?”

“If I want to shower first? Five minutes ago. If I don’t mind smelling like sex? Another fifteen or so.”

“Smell like sex,” Derek says, and Stiles swallows at the possessive tone of voice. “I want to keep talking to you.”

The Kleenex definitely doesn’t do a good enough job, and Stiles is going to have to at least use a washcloth before he goes, but whatever. He’s just had kick-ass phone sex, and now he’s talking to his boyfriend, and in half an hour he’ll be hanging out with his friends. Overall this is definitely being considered a day made of win. Epic win. Epic, sexy win. “This was epic.”

There’s a snort across the phone, and the sound of cloth being moved around. “That was the plan.”

“You planned for this to go the way it did?” he asked, sitting up slightly in bed.

“Birthday sex is a tradition, right?

Stiles laughed, flopping backwards again. “Greatest boyfriend ever. Seriously. I am going to give you _the_ best blowjob when I come visit.”

The groan was clear across the phone and Stiles smiled, letting his mind wander over the idea of licking every inch of Derek’s body. If phone sex was this great, actual in-the-flesh (haha in) was going to be amazing.  Post-coital cuddling was also likely going to be phenomenal.

Everything about visiting was probably going to be awesome.

“I’m putting you on speakerphone while I get dressed,” he said, waiting for the affirmative before switching his phone over and pushing his blankets down. “My friends can deal with my smelling like sex, but I’m drawing a line at actually showing up with cum on my clothing.”

“How classy of you,” Derek said, and Stiles could practically hear the eyeroll as he tried to get out of bed, tripping on his jeans and falling to the floor instead. “Stiles!? What was that?”

Squawking he shimmied the rest of the way out of his pants, glad that Derek couldn’t see how bright his cheeks were. “Nothing, just uh…tripped. Anyways, moving on. What are you doing tonight?”

There was a pause and then a chuckle before Derek finally spoke again. “Watching movies and reading over some stuff Jon leant me.”

“Jon,” Stiles asked, pausing with one leg in a fresh pair of jeans. “Jon the hot guy you work with that I’ve got a totally inferiority complex about?”

“Jon, the guy I’m not at all attracted to, who’s giving me some old paperwork to read-over so I can be ahead of my peers for future job applications and promotions.”

Pulling his jeans the rest of the way on and sliding a belt through, Stiles sighed. “I know, I know. Jealousy isn’t hot, and we both know you’d never cheat on me. It’s nice of him to help you. We should go out with him when I come visit.”

“So you can put your hands all over me in front of him and stake your claim?”

“Pretty much,” he said, tugging a t-shirt on. “Let me have my leftover issues. It lets me be smug over how smoking hot my boyfriend is.”

“You’re a very complex idiot who should probably get going so he’s not late to his own birthday party,” Derek said just as Stiles put his plaid over-shirt on and grabbed up a hoodie. “Have fun tonight, babe.”

He picked up his phone, flicking it back to regular mode before holding it to his ear. “I will. Talk to you later.”

“Bye, and Happy Birthday,” Derek said before hanging up, leaving Stiles to smile and shove his phone in his back pocket. He hurried to the bathroom, grabbing a wet cloth to give his stomach a quick wipe down before tossing it in the sink and heading to the front door. Chances were he was going to be a bit late, but who cared. It was his birthday, he could be late if he wanted to.

***

 **Stiles Stilinski:** you bought all myschool books  
 **Derek Hale:** I did. Happy Birthday.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** Derek  
you bouhgt all my school books  
I have some sreiously expensive textbooks next semster  
and you bought them  
 **Derek Hale:** I know.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** that is way too much  
I mean  
I feraked out in front of evryone when Scott gave them to me  
which by the wayhow did you manage to get ahold of hmi to get him to pick those up fro you?  
he wouldnt tell me anything  
just gave me teh note from you  
jesus Derek  
 **Derek Hale:** Less money you spend on school, the more money you can save, the sooner you can come visit.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** boyd laughed at me  
 **Derek Hale:** I’ll punch Boyd.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** I think hes bigger then  you but I apperciate the offer  
I raelly really love you  
its sitll to much for a persent  
but I love you  
 **Derek Hale:** I love you too.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** I thikn Im cyring  
 **Derek Hale:** How drunk are you?  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** not very  
myabe a little  
just enough ot be emotionallly compromised  
 **Derek Hale:** Drunk enough that you’ve forgotten all semblance of punctuation, but you’re still using words like compromised.  
Did you have a good birthday other than your boyfriend making you cry?  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** the best birhtday  
boyd brouhgt tihs guy Isaaac from wrok  
he went to school wiht us and is really cool  
and erica bouhgt me a bunch of batman stuff  
cause shes my catwoman  
I told you that befoer right?  
that ericas my catwoman  
and im her batman  
but not in akinky way  
 **Derek Hale:** Yes, you’ve told me that Erica is your catwoman.  
Are you still drinking?  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** kinda  
scott said I had ot od a shot  
cause im tlkaing to you  
nad its rude  
*nad  
*and  
lol  
ericas got ewn meds nad teyh dotn give her pmiples  
 **Derek Hale:** That’s good that Erica’s new meds are so good  
Tell everyone I say hi and then go drink a glass of water and go to sleep.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** ok  
I lvoe yuo  
nghit xoxo <3333  
 **Stiles Stilinski has logged off**  
 **Stiles Stilinski has logged on**  
Stiles Stilinski: Just saw the messages from last night.  
I’m so sorry.  
So, so, so sorry.  
I still think it was too much, but it’s probably the sweetest birthday gift I’ve ever gotten.  
I’m keeping that promise about giving you a great blow job.  
Gonna go take some aspirin and hide in bed for the rest of the day.  
Love you  <3

***

_(347) Are you free?_

_(530) Yup! Skype, IM, or phone?_

_(347) Skype._

Sighing Derek ran a hand through his hair before sliding out of bed. His bedroom floor was freezing cold, and he found himself hating the shitty air conditioner in his apartment that either didn’t cool anything down or turned his apartment into a freezer. It was stupid, and at the moment Derek hated all of New York.

His laptop was warm where it was hibernating and he unplugged it before taking it back to bed with him, wrapping himself back up in a blanket while he waited for it to log in. It was pouring rain outside, the damp finding its way inside and making everything feel sticky and wet. This kind of weather, the muggy, humid, polluted downpour, was Derek’s least favourite. Everything felt uncomfortable and unhappy, and everyone he ran into was grumpy about it, and he hadn’t been able to sleep all week from the sound of rain pounding on the windows. Fucking terrible weather.

Skype had barely finished logging in before Derek was clicking on Stiles’ username and clicking the voice call button. It rang for a lot longer than normal before it clicked, the empty sound of connections trying to be made filling the room, and then there was his boyfriends face.

“Hey, babe. Sorry, Scott was just leaving when you texted. Didn’t expect you to get online so fast.”

“It’s fine,” he said. “I didn’t realize you had company.”

It earned him a snort and an eyeroll, Stiles’ face close enough to the screen that he could make out the freckles on his nose. “Scott doesn’t count as company. And he was literally on the doorstep saying goodbye when you texted. Apparently Deaton’s taking him out of town early tomorrow for some sort of vet assistant training thing at some kennel. I don’t know, it started sounding like needles and fluids would be involved, so I sort of tuned him out.”

“I love you.”

“What’s wrong?” Stiles said. The concern was clear on his face and Derek should’ve seen it coming. He mostly stuck to reciprocated I love you’s, or ones at the end of conversations. Stiles was the one who slipped them right into the middle of a discussion before continuing on with his rant about the latent misogyny of the comic book industry.

Sighing, Derek shrugged. “I’m just having a shitty week.” It was an understatement, but those were sort his forte.

“Babe…” Stiles said, before picking up his laptop. Derek just watched as he carried it up the stairs from where he’d presumably been using it to stream videos in the living room. And then he was shucking his jeans and tugging his t-shirt off, giving Derek a chance to admire just how fucking gorgeous his boyfriend was. “Tell me about it.”

He waited until Stiles was in his own bed, a thin blanket wrapped around him while he laid on his side to face the computer. “It’s just a bad week. There’s nothing to say.”

“Bullshit. Did something happen at work?”

“Not really,” he said, smiling softly at Stiles calling him on his shit. “There’s a new girl who’s been hitting on me all week, which is annoying. Apparently the fact that your picture is on my desk and I’ve told her, repeatedly, that I’m in a serious relationship means nothing to her.”

“My picture’s on your desk?”

“Well, yeah. The one Erica took of you for her photography class, where you’re laughing and it’s not totally head on.”

The smile on Stiles’ face was more than enough to make up for the embarrassment of the admission, the way his eyes crinkled and he blushed slightly. “That’s…that’s nice. I like that,” he said, before schooling his features into a more serious expression. “Can you go to like…HR or something about it? I mean, that’s sexual harassment which is a finable offense. I guarantee there’s something in the company guidelines or code or whatever forbidding that kind of behaviour.

He nodded, sighing slightly as he pulled the blankets tighter around himself. “If it keeps up, I will. I just…don’t want to push too many buttons. She’s in a pretty high-up position, and I’m still technically just an intern.”

It made Stiles frown before he nodded. “How about we start doing lunch dates? I’ve still got a few weeks before classes start up again. We can skype during your lunch breaks.”

“You realize my lunch breaks would be nine am your time, right?”

“I’m on afternoon/evening shifts for the rest of the summer, and I’m more than willing to get up early if it’ll cheer my boyfriend up,” he said, and it was easy for Derek to read the sincerity in his expression, the easy way his lips quirked up in a crooked smile.

“You’re amazing.”

Blushing, Stiles shook his head and tugged his blanket up to hide his face for a minute. Derek just smiled and waited, knowing it would be lowered in a minute. His boyfriend was easily flustered, and he loved watching the way Stiles would try to hide his blush behind blankets and pillows. He’d be able to tug them away when they were together, toss the blankets aside and kiss Stiles until he was blushing for entirely different reasons. It was one of the things he was most looking forward to doing.

“Ok. So. We’ve sorted out the problem with the bitch at your work, so what else is going on?”

“Laura’s upset with me,” he said with a sigh.

“What? Why? You and Laura like…never seriously fight.”

Derek shrugged, avoiding looking directly at Stiles because he knew this one was mostly his fault. “She was talking about moving in with her boyfriend, or letting him move in with us, and I snapped at her,” he said. “I just…she’s only been dating him for a couple months, and we hardly know him. I was already in a bad mood when she brought it up and I guess I wasn’t as tactful as I could have been.” There was no need to tack on the fact that she’d followed up with a scathing remark about his relationship being long distance. He could be the bigger man.

It earned him another soft smile, enough of one that he forced himself to look Stiles in the eye instead of just out of his periphery. “That’s fair enough. Take her to that Indonesian restaurant she really likes this weekend. Buy her a nice meal and calmly explain that you’re just worried about her, and you don’t want to see her get her heartbroken like last time.”

“And if she snaps at me about how Damien is nothing like Andrew?”

“Just make sure you say a couple nice things about Damien. How he’s…I dunno, good to her, or seems to make her happy, or something. You could compromise and maybe suggest like…her letting him have a drawer or something? Baby steps, y’know?”

“How is my nineteen year old boyfriend smarter than I am?”

“I’m just a genius. It’s part of my charm. I’m also mildly less biased because Laura’s not my sister, although I’ll totally fly out there and help you kick his ass if he hurts her.”

Derek smiled, feeling his heart clench slightly as he watched his boyfriend. “I wish you were here right now.”

“I know, babe,” Stiles said, face softening. “But I mean, it’s August, and GISHWHES is in October, so that’s only two months away. And then we’ll probably know the winners before Christmas.”

“Yeah…” he said, not quite following Stiles’ train of thought. GISHWHES was miles away, and had nothing to do with how badly he wanted to let Stiles hold him right now.

“So Christmas is when we’ll know if our next visit will be in some exotic locale, or not. Which means it’s only a couple months until we start making plans for when I’ll be coming to visit you. I mean, as long as you don’t charge me room and board, I should have enough money to visit you by spring break.”

And that, right there, was why Stiles was the perfect fit. Derek was incapable of thinking of the far future beyond all the ways things could go wrong. Then there was Stiles, Stiles with his ability to be totally caught up in the moment one second and planning out exactly when he’d visit the next. The perfect counterpoint.

“Only a few months, and then we’ll pick dates. Good. I’m glad.”

Stiles just smiled, cheeks dimpling slightly. “Feeling better now?”

“Much better. Now, what were you and Scott up to?”

It was still pouring rain out, and he was pretty sure Laura was still going to give him the cold shoulder tomorrow, and whatshername was still going to hit on him at work tomorrow. But Stiles was right there, face and hands animated as he talked about the new show he and Scott had found, and how he was considering trying to get into some film production courses next year, and would Derek still love him if he was famous. That was enough to make the last of his tension ease away, nodding slightly as he listened to his boyfriend ramble and came to the realization that he was seriously head over heels in love.

***

 **Laura Hale:** My brother is completely smitten  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** Is it Jon? I knew it.  
 **Laura Hale:** Haha dumbass.  
He took me out for lunch today to make up for a fight he started and ended up spending the entire meal freaking out.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** What? Why? What’s going on?  
 **Laura Hale:** He finally realized that he’s like…long-haul, all-in, the stuff dreams are made of, in love with you.  
And he’s worried telling you will chase you away.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** Oh  
Wow  
Uh  
 **Laura Hale:** Oh please don’t tell me you’re too dumb to have figured that out too  
You guys have been dating for like….eight or nine months and you talk, literally, every single day.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** No, yeah, I know. I just…  
I guess I knew but no one ever said anything so it hadn’t really like….processed or something?  
He’s really freaked out about this?  
 **Laura Hale:** Yup. Emotionally retarded.  
He’s got a lot of baggage, and he’s just….  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** Yeah, no, I get it.  
Family secrets and skeletons in the closet and evil exes and stuff  
Can you do me a favor?  
 **Laura Hale:** If it’ll calm Derek down? Yes.  
Anything.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** Keep your eyes peeled for a parcel.  
I’ll have it marked as coming from a friend of mine in Boston, just in case Derek sees it.  
When it gets there, unpack it in Derek’s room.  
 **Laura Hale:** Unpack what?  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** You’ll figure it out when it gets there  
And Derek will understand when he sees it  
And tell him I love him  
 **Laura Hale:** You can tell him yourself when you two talk tonight  
Like you do everynight  
Goobers  
Talk to you later, Stiles  
 **Laura Hale has logged off**

***

Stiles has great plans. Stiles has fucking awesome plans that are made entirely out of win. When Stiles makes a plan, you know it’s going to be epic. It’s just a fact.

Another fact is that Stiles frequently underestimates how long a plan will take.

Getting enough clothing to fill a drawer when you have no money? And then wearing each item and washing them so they smell like you? And then figuring out how to box them up without them losing their smell? And making sure your boyfriend sees you in each and every article of clothing at least once so he knows you own them? Yeah, that takes a bit longer and a bit more co-ordination than initially anticipated.

“What do you think, Lyds? Hot or not?”

“It’s a graphic tee. Not. The answer to that question is always not. And don’t call me Lyds.”

Huffing Stiles turns to look at himself in the mirror, ignoring the looks the sales clerk is giving them. They came to the store on a weekday morning specifically so there wouldn’t be anyone to care about a bunch of girls hanging out at the men’s change room. If she didn’t like that Stiles wanted fashion advice, she could kick him out. Or not, because he kind of needed to finish this up so he could finish his project.

“I know you think jock is the only look worth having, but unlike you I can’t afford Macy’s. And it’s got to be believable. Me in henleys and douche-scarves is not believable,” he said, tugging at the hem of the The Who shirt he had on. “I think it’s nice.”

“If you want believable, than go for that shirt. It’s very you,” Erica said.

Stiles turned to where she was sitting, looking down at himself. “It’s me, but is it hot? Like….would he want to jump me if I walked into a room wearing it?”

“It’s a graphic. Tee. No one sees one of those and thinks of sex,” Lydia said, standing. “Erica, watch my purse while this idiot finishes trying things on. I’ll be back.” And then she was gone, skirt swaying as she click-clacked away.

“If you’re not sure, put it in a maybe pile and try the next thing on. We’ll sort through after,” Erica said, frowning after Lydia before focusing back on him. It was nice having nice Erica back. She’d gone through a minor bitch-phase when her acne first cleared up and the frequency of her seizures lessened, and boys started noticing her, but now she was back to the sweet girl Stiles had first become friends with in senior year. A balance between Allison’s girl-next-door nature and Lydia’s eternal bitchiness that he still somehow found endearing.

Moving back into the change room Stiles pulled on the next shirt before immediately discarding it with a grimace. The humor of a My Little Pony shirt would be lost on Derek. Same with the hooker joke shirt. “I should probably stick to superhero’s, bad puns, and bands shouldn’t I?” he called out.

“Safe bet,” Erica said. “Why, again, did you bring Lydia and I instead of the guys? We’re not exactly sure what guys find hot about other guys. Wrong perspective.”

“Sass much appreciated,” he said, stepping out of the change room in a Batman shirt. “Scott and Isaac would give everything a yes, and Boyd wouldn’t say anything. At least you guys have an opinion. Now, this one, or the movie-verse one?”

“Fair enough, and I still think the blue comic one you tried on earlier was the best.”

“It was clingy though.”

“Exactly,” Lydia said, coming back into the room with an armful of clothing. “Even I thought you were hot in that one, and I hate superheroes. Now enough with the tacky tees, try these on.”

“Nice alliteration,” he said, taking the pile from her. “What is all this? I’ve got more than enough options in the tees.”

Heaving a dramatic sigh, Lydia sat beside Erica, smoothing her dress out under her. “Tees are for drawers. If you want the full effect, you should have some hoodies and button ups in the closet. It wouldn’t be you without a hideous plaid monstrosity. Now hurry up, I’m bored.”

So Stiles made awesome plans, but they were always better when Erica and Lydia got involved.

“We should take over the world,” he said, following instructions and returning to the stall to change again while Lydia and Erica discussed the rather tight top Erica had on. “The three of us would be unstoppable.”

“Oh sweetie, it’s cute how you think we haven’t already started.”

And yeah, okay, plans with Lydia were awesome, but she was still totally terrifying.

***

 **Laura Hale:** Only a couple more weeks until Gishwhes 3.0  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** SO STOKED  
Has Alice started gathering the team?  
 **Laura Hale:** Yup. Jenna left, but Alice found some girl in Ireland who apparently works as a graphic artist  
Siofa or Soifa or something like that. I think I’m missing an r in there somewhere.  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** Siofra? I think that’s an Irish name.  
 **Laura Hale:** Something like that. I’ll double check with Alice tomorrow – I think she should be in the facebook group by then.  
brb – someone at the intercom  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** Kk  
 **Laura Hale:** Lydia Martin?  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** MY PARCEL IS THERE  
I’m Lydia’s Gay Best Friend – when you ignore her actual gay best friend, the fact that I’m not gay, and the 1000 ways that title is totally problematic and stereotypical  
ANYWAYS MY PARCEL IS THERE  
How long until Derek is home from work?  
 **Laura Hale:** At least an hour, if not two, weirdo  
What the – what is all this?  
 **Stiles Stilinski:** GO FORTH  
UNVEIL THE PERFECT PRESENT  
Follow the instructions on the letter  
I’m gonna go pretend to do homework (because wtf homework in the first week of class is bullshit but whatever I’m not actually going to do it because I’m too excited about this holy shit)  
I’ll talk to you later!  
 **Laura Hale:** I am so confused, but okay  
Bye  
 **Laura Hale has logged off**

***

Something didn’t smell right. It wasn’t necessarily bad, it just wasn’t right. Sniffing, Derek shut the apartment door behind him and took a few steps in, leaving his shoes on just in case. Paranoid, maybe, but he’d rather be called paranoid than naïve.

“Laura?”

“Hey, bro,” she said, coming out of her room. She looked fine enough, if a bit mischievous. Then again, that was kind of a default expression on his sister. Derek didn’t even have the energy to feel suspicious when he saw that specific glint in her eyes anymore. After twenty-three years of her scheming he’d finally just come to accept that having a mildly evil big sister was just his lot in life. “How was work?”

“Uneventful. What’s that smell?”

“Hm? What smell?”

Rolling his eyes, Derek finally toed his shoes off. “Don’t play dumb, you suck at it.”

“Thank you,” she said with a grin before shrugging and grabbing her jacket. “Just got a package today – I guess whoever packed it was wearing a lot of cologne? Anyways, I’m heading out for a bit. See you later.”

“You’re a terrible liar,” he said, rolling his eyes as she kissed his cheek before slipping behind him and out the door. At least whatever she was up to was happening outside of the apartment for the rest of the night. Derek was planning on getting into his sweats, putting on some crappy action flick, and maybe calling Stiles before bed. The end.

Shrugging off his leather jacket, he hung it on the rack before walking to the kitchen for a drink, all the while trying to identify the scent. It was familiar, some sort of men’s deodorant, but he couldn’t quite sort where it was from. While having superior senses could be useful, sometimes it just got a bit too confusing. How were you supposed to keep it all straight when you picked up so many different scents in a day? It was ridiculous.

With a sigh he wandered towards his bedroom, tossing his suit jacket over the back of the couch and loosening his tie. He loved his internship, he really did, and it was almost guaranteed he’d have a position with the company in the fall, but God did he hate his suit by the end of the day. The only upside were the fantasies he had of coming home during Stiles’ visit, imagining his boyfriend tugging him by the tie. Stiles seemed like the kind of person who, while he never wore them himself, would think a man in a sharp suit was sexy.

 The scent was stronger in his room, and Derek wrinkled his nose in confusion. What the hell was Laura-

There was a poster of some horrible punk band Stiles loved on the wall above  his bed.

Derek hated that poster. He’d seen it in the background of Stiles’ web chats enough times, had mocked him mercilessly for his terrible taste in music (even though they agreed on a lot of bands).  There was absolutely no reason for it to be in his apartment. And there was no doubt that it was the exact one from Stiles’ room, it had the same squiggled on autograph he’d once been told was placed there by Scott during a ‘I’m joining a band’ phase.

Swallowing he looked around, confusion growing as he spotted one of Stiles’ ridiculous Mets ball caps hanging off the corner of his desk, the ugly misshapen _something_ of a paper weight, a copy of Waiting for Godot _(It’s such a total mindfuck, seriously, Derek, you have to read it, promise me)_ on his nightstand.

He ran a hand through his hair, brow furrowed in confusion because what the hell were Stiles and Laura up to? Booting up his laptop he went to his closet, picking up Laura’s perfume and the scent he was now recognizing as Stiles’ deodorant, and tugged the doors open. The sight made him choke on a laugh, a mix of tacky plaid shirts and various hued hoodies now mixed in with his suits and plain button-ups.

At the bottom of the closet was a pile of his clothing, all folded up and stacked neatly, and Derek _knew_ they hadn’t been there before work.

He went back to his desk, logging into his computer, before going to his desk. He had….there was a chance he knew where this was going but he wasn’t sure what it meant. If he was right that was. He let out a breath, trying not to let his hands shake as he tugged open the door that should’ve housed his closet-clothes right as Skype started beeping at him. Letting out another choked laugh he shook his head, staring at the pile of clothes there.

Fucking Stiles and fucking Laura. What the hell.

He stripped out of his suit before digging through the clothes to pull out a loose t-shirt. His sweats were still on the floor beside his bed and he got re-dressed, breathing deeply as he tugged the shirt over his head, before walking to his laptop.

**(Recent 6)**

**Alice O’Keefe** – 26 HOURS UNTIL GISHWHES STARTS  
 **Alice O’Keefe** – The team has already promised to work as hard as possible to make sure we win. We all want to see you and Stiles kiss.

He ignored her messages, clicking on the link to Stiles’ name and laughing at the spastic messages there. Fuck did he love this boy.  
  
 **Stiles Stilinski** – Hey babe!  
 **Stiles Stilinski** – Dad arrested someone with a Camaro today and it made me miss you  
 **Stiles Stilinski** – You actually there? OMG ARE YOU GETTING CHANGED!? ARE YOU NAKED!?  
 **Stiles Stilinski** – START A VIDEO CHAT I WANT TO SEE YOUR ABS YOU ARE SEXY  
  
Clicking the video call button he settled into his chair, making sure his shirt was in sight of the webcam, shaking his head when his boyfriends’ face flailed into view.

“ABS! Wait, you’re not naked,” Stiles said, a slight pout to his features. “Also hi. Oh man, also your shirt!”

“Stiles. What,” Derek started, letting out another awkward laugh and shaking his head again, smiling at the computer. He tugged on the shirt, a blue superhero one that he remembered Stiles wearing the week before. “Explain?”

There was silence for a minute, Stiles just staring before he cleared his throat slightly, cheeks reddening in the screen. “It’s uh, it’s a lot tighter on you than it was on me.”  
  
“Stiles, hun, can you focus?” His voice was possibly a bit hysterical but Derek could feel himself wanting to read into this, wanting to run away with all the reasons Stiles could’ve possibly orchestrated this, and if they were wrong he wanted to stop those thoughts immediately. But God did he want them to be right. “Explain, please.”

It earned him a small smile, one side lifting a bit higher in the closest Stiles ever came to sheepish. “We’ve been dating for nearly a year, and I really love you, and I don’t see that changing any time soon. Or, y’know, ever. Unless that’s too much in which case you can pretend I didn’t say that even though it’s totally true,” he said, and Derek felt his smile grow at the honesty. No hesitation, no fear, just like the stupid kid with the stupid cat-sized police hat.

“Not too much. Really not too much. I love you too,” he said, shaking his head slightly. “But Stiles, what the hell? I feel like I’ve missed a step.”

It just earned him another grin, wider this time, and a shrug. “What did we tell Laura? Baby steps?”

Baby steps. Snorting, Derek let his head fall back to laugh, imagining all the I-told-you-so’s in his future from Laura, She’s never stop being smug about her insistence that he ask out the spazzy geek from the stupid scavenger hunt. Running a hand through his hair he looked back at the screen, probably with an idiotic smile, if the way his cheeks hurt were anything to go by.

“Baby steps,” he agreed, watching as Stiles’ own smile grew.

Misha Collins. Best wingman Derek had ever had.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm SO sorry this part took so long to get out, but I successfully deleted the second half of it multiple times. I'm not even sure all my typo-catches actually went through. But it's finished now! The title is in reference to the first GISHWHES and some MJL tweets and some bad puns. Forgive me.
> 
> The next part in the series will follow year two of Team Needsabetternamethanlastyear once I a) come up with a team name, b) come up with some more scavenger hunt items, and 3) tally the points to find out if their team wins or not.
> 
> AKA School is back on so it might not come until break in February, although I'll try to have it before then. Cross your fingers!
> 
> As always, feel free to follow me on tumblr at thelittlestboho.tumblr.com although I've been dead there recently due to lack of worthwhile internet access.


End file.
